The Mother of the Groom
Most of you know that Jere and I have two weddings coming up this year. Aubrey and Nick will be married in June, and Judson and Sofia have narrowed their gaze to sometime in the Fall. So even in our busy Emmanuel schedule of worship, building projects, and community engagement, I’m spending some time planning a wedding feast — not at Cana, of course, but in a beautiful spot under a tent in the North Georgia mountains. As the mother of the bride — who with the father of the bride is the host of the wedding — the very thought of running out of anything at the wedding reception — food, chairs, plates or, heaven forfend, wine — can make my heart skip a beat.
But John’s gospel is clear that Mary, Jesus, and the disciples are guests at the wedding at Cana. Mary is not the mother of the bride. Considering the theological claim that Christ is the bridegroom of the church, we could possibly see Mary as the mother of the groom in this context. A friend with marrying sons told me recently that the mother of the groom’s job is to show up, smile, and wear beige. So even if we see Mary as the mother of the groom, when she asks Jesus to deal with the wine shortage, it’s a fair claim that she’s getting way out of her lane.
Jesus’ response draws our attention straight to Mary’s official role at the wedding: she doesn’t have one. She’s a guest. Woman, what concern is that to you and me? Jesus asks. Is Jesus calling his mother an officious intermeddler? Just being honest, I might feel that way if a wedding guest took over the serving staff at Aubrey’s wedding. But I think that John’s gospel is trying to get us to focus on Mary’s and Jesus’ roles — and all of our roles — when God’s transformative work gets done.
Abundance
Jesus tells the servants to fill the six stone jars for the Jewish rites of purification with water, and John’s gospel carefully notes the detail that they held 20-30 gallons apiece. Multiplying all of that out, that’s as much as 180 gallons of water that becomes fine wine. We don’t know how many guests were at the wedding, but assuming that they started with what seemed like enough before Mary notices it’s run short, it’s way more than plenty. There was a comic character in the 1980s in Atlanta — Mrs. Ashford Dunwoody, she was called — who had an hilarious routine about party planning, calculating how much wine was needed per pound of guest. By any method of calculation, though, 180 gallons is a gracious plenty — pure abundance.
Preacher Ismael Ruiz-Millan writes that As the body of Christ on earth, we often function from a place of scarcity, from a shortage of wine. When Jesus asks, Woman, what concern is that to you and me?, he isn’t telling his mother to mind her own business. He’s inviting all of us — each in our own way — to join in the transformative miracle of abundance, even if it’s not our specific role or job.
Extravagant Gifts
The Apostle Paul reminds the Corinthians today that we all are blessed with unique and extravagant gifts to generate abundance with God’s help. Each of us is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good, Paul writes. And that gift takes different forms. To one is given wisdom, to another knowledge, to another faith, to another gifts of healing, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the discernment of spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. Notice that the gift of tongues is not given without the gift of one who understands them. All these gifts are activated by the same Spirit, who allots to each one individually just as the Spirit chooses.
What are your gifts? Mary had the gift of observation. She was present in the moment and noticed that wine was running short. She also had the gift of discernment of spirit, and knew that Jesus was the one to call in to help with the abundance issues. And Jesus, of course, had the gift working miracles. Often we don’t know our own gifts. Posy Jackson helped us with a spiritual gifts inventory, and many of us offered our spiritual gifts in October with our pledged financial gifts at the altar, and I’ve seen them all in glory in these past weeks. Your vestry has been working to complete grant applications for some of the major capital needs that we have at Emmanuel Church. We need to replace the furnaces that have reached the end of their useful lives. The stained glass windows in the chapel have begun to buckle and lose panes. The roof above the nave needs to be re-sealed to stop current leaks and prevent future ones.
And while the work of grant writing can be daunting — both because of the great need for these major repairs and the sheer detail and length of the applications — it’s a privilege to see all of you through my bleary, grant-writing eyes, and to tell the story of Emmanuel’s spiritual gifts. You give them extravagantly — each in your own way — in the transformative miracle of God’s abundance. Our hydroponics gardeners harvest as many as 90 bags of kale each month for the MLK Community Center’s veggie day. MLK Development Director Alyson Novick shared a mother of 4’s gratitude Friday: That will help SO much, she told Alyson.
Each of us is given the manifestation of the spirit for the common good, Paul writes the Corinthians, and those gifts are different for each of us: The Property Committee in care for the building, the Flemings in care for the grounds, Dave and Liz in budget and accounting, Judy in dusting and polishing, Bobby in acolyting, and Sandy and Brian in altar guilding, the choir in singing and rehearsal, the Executive Committee in planning and policy, the vestry in staying informed, lectors in reading and intercessors in praying, and all of us in making the commitment to show up and be here together. These gifts of spirit, all different but working together, create the miracle of abundance that changes water into wine.
Dream Big
Remember that curious detail in John’s gospel — the steward did not know that the fine, abundant supplies of wine came from the 30-gallon water jars, but the servants did. The servants weren’t the ones in charge, but they took part in the miracle of abundance by pitching in, each with their own gifts. So dream big! We have no idea what God will do for us and through us when we pour out our spiritual gifts extravagantly. I don’t think Mary was thinking of miracles at the wedding at Cana. She just used her spiritual gifts of presence and observation to point out what the community needed. But then Jesus and all the servants got involved, and that changed everything.
Tomorrow, our nation honors Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on his birthday. Dr. King had a dream — a big dream — of the creation of a beloved community, where, as he wrote in“Facing the Challenge of a New Age,” the end is the creation of the beloved community. It is this type of spirit and this type of love … that will transform the deep gloom of the old age into the exuberant gladness of the new age. It is this love which will bring about miracles ...
Amen